Better than Monday

The pain's still here, but working out today was so much better than Monday. Maybe something's getting toned! I can only hope. I seriously felt some of the movement moving. Does that make sense?  There was a big leap forward in shoulder movement, I actually smiled.

Alrighty.

Yesterday was D&D a kinda short game, but REALLY good. Poor Hubby had to stop early cause he was in so much pain. Still, really good game.

We also splurged on pizza. It was good. Very good. Lots of leftovers. I indulged a bit yesterday and the night before, and today on a very sweet present of chocolates from one of Hubby's co-managers. She use to work at the local Books-A-Million. Sadly the store closed it's doors last week, but she grabbed a pile of goodies to send to me.

There was some Grasshopper Aisian Snack Mix of Rice Nuts. YUM! Those lasted all of a day and a half, truth be told, it was all I ate other than dinner.

(Not my picture.)

 Did learn 1 thing. I'm not a big fan of Wasabi. Too spicy-mustard-y. (The green one is wasabi.) Totally do-able with one of the peanut things.

Then there was a completely orgasmic white velvet chocolate cupcake with coconut frosting

(Picture from www.covetedcakes.com)

This isn't the exact cupcake but it looks just like it! Orgasmic. Completely orgasmic. I'm gonna re-create this beauty in cake-ball form. Glad Hubby brought home 1 any more would be irresistible and eaten in an instant.

The goodies continued to 3 different Godiva chocolates.

Yeah. You heard me.

The Milk Chocolate Sundae in Dark Chocolate Truffle Bar. This bad boy went down last night with the intention of only having 2 pieces. Before I knew it the entire thing was gone! So so so good. Dark chocolate the cream in the center totally had the truffle vibe going on. Wants more.

This was the Strawberries & Cream in White Chocolate Truffle Bar. Good, but didn't WOW me. It would probably be better frozen. I'm a white chocolate snob and this bar didn't make my personal cut. The strawberries in the center was essentially jam. Wasn't bad. Wasn't good. I ate one piece on Saturday night then finished off the other 3 pieces today cause I didn't want to throw it away and wanted to like it more.

I have one of these. Still to be eaten. Somewhere in my brain I've tried these before, but I can't remember. I'll probably pass judgement on this Friday. I want to like it, right now I'm on a peppermint kick. Let's hope this dosen't ruin it.

Breakfast today was my last cherry yogurt.

Lunch was 2 small pieces of supreme pizza. Veggies on pizza is healthy, right?

Dinner is gonna be breaded chicken over white rice. Can't wait!

Looking forward to this period pain to be over. Looking forward to Thursday, that's my 'do nothing' day.   

Sometimes it's hard...

...to keep a positive outlook on life. On yourself. To believe in yourself.

It's hard today.

For no exceptional reason other than my period started. Sometimes it's bearable, sometimes the pain's excruciating, sometimes my emotions are fine, sometimes I cry, sometimes the littlest thing pisses me off, sometimes I'm just sad.

I took a good long look at myself in front of the mirror and saw a round, round body. Nothing from the past five weeks showed. Nothing was there to warn me of the sudden sadness and depression that set in. I wanted to cover myself up and be ashamed. I felt ashamed, I still feel ashamed. I REALLY shouldn't look at myself during my period. Hopefully what I'm seeing is bloating.

Breakfast was a cherry yogurt. I was hungry a couple hours later, no...not really hungry, snack-y. So I polished off the crumbs of some BBQ potato chips and a Tahoe cookie.

Belly dancing was harder today. The pain from my period is just barely tolerable even with the medicine. I stopped 4 maybe 5 times to catch my breath and give my poor feet a rest. I'm sure it dosen't help that I banged my ankle yesterday, it's sore and bruised. Got through the workout though.

Lovin' the shower right after still.

Ate lunch at about 11pm. Some leftover Denny's from Saturday night. Half a Belgian waffle, half the scrambled eggs, and 2 sausage links. I gotta say the food was dismal & tasted off Saturday night. Reheated today it wasn't much better. Not like it was spoiled, but whoever made the eggs didn't clean the stove off before cooking it and whoever made the sad excuse for a Belgian waffle should be fired.

We're making chop suey tonight. Beef tips, onion, garlic, celery, bean sprouts, pepper, soy sauce all cooked together in the wok, yes please!

Wednesday's gonna be rough. I can't wait or Hubby to get home from work. I need to be hugged.

Belly Dancing Week 1 Wrap-Up

It's 9:08pm and I'm freshly showered, though admittedly a bit breathless and hungry.

Belly Dancing went rather well I think. Monday I was a panting, sweaty, jiggily mess. Wednesday the panting went away, still sweating (though not as much), and jiggily. Friday (today) I was still a little sweaty, giggly (though I felt certain muscles move properly through the jiggles, and breathless.

Not bad.

Not great but not bad, there was improvement with the movement. =P

I admit that I missed a couple sets of hip drops on both the left and right side and I took 2, 1 minute breaks kneeling on the couch cause my feet hurt so bad. It was probably less than a minute, but I did pause the video and picked it up as soon as I could stand the pain.

Think I'm a bit breathless cause I woke up with a sore throat so it was a bit hard to breath. I'm also blaming the DayQuil for wearing off.

Breakfast was only had a black cherry yogurt. Yummy. I did get hungry at 7/8ish but didn't snack on anything.

I want a Coke like crazy. Or a McD's Sweet Tea, but that's for tomorrow night.

Later I'm gonna make a grape, carrot, ranch dip, cheese, beef jerky, and cracker plate. Also gonna make sure I have enough grapes piled on to snack on laters when the midnight need food craving hits.

Dinner is gonna probably be some sort of parmesan chicken he picked up.

Sidenote:

My new air-mattress is tall and COMFY. If it weren't wedged between the bed and a storage container I'd fall out, most likely breaking something. He also picked up thingies to go under the couch legs to help it slide across the floor. (Made 2 trips, whatta man!) I'm happy to report it's AWESOME! So so so so SO nice to just gently push and the couch moves easily, and pull to bring it back into place. LOVE!

Less sweat, let's hope!

Yesterday was my beloved D&D game, full of gut-twisting anxiety! Yay! 2 cans of well deserved Coke. I wanna plaaaaaaaaay!

Other than the fact that my air mattress decided to become possessed and one side of it is swollen, while the other side is normal. We let out air to try to even it out. Didn't help. Emptied the entire mattress and refilled it. Didn't help. Hubby tried to lay on the puffy side to squish it down. Didn't help. He threatened to run out to Super Wal-Mart and buy a new one, I declined force-ably, declaring that I'd make the best of things for the night.

Yeah...

8am rolls around I FINALLY get to sleep.

3 hours of sleep later.

He was right.

I'll be getting a new air mattress tonight.

Leftover Denny's Belgian Waffle slam from last night, more specifically half a waffle, 2 sausage links, and half of the eggs, made my breakfast this morning. Hey! I didn't want to waste food, and I reeeeeeeealy wanted fruit & veggies for lunch, so I had to eat my leftovers. Obviously.

I put my foot down (as gently as I could) to Hubby when he hinted again that I was gonna have a soda tonight with dinner, he also was trying to insist that I eat lasagna (leftover from D&D yesterday) for lunch today. I said, to the best of my recollection, that if he wants to see my weight get into control, then he's gonna have to support the small change in my eating habits. Not big, but I have a certain kind of food I wanna eat during the day, dinner is whatever with no restraint except on the soda. It's healthier, I'm full, and if I need a snack I'll get one during the daytime. I think I took him aback a wee bit. Feel badly but, I feel worse telling him no I'm not having a Coke with dinner most nights. Or, no, I'm not going to eat those leftovers when they make you a perfectly good lunch, I have food! 

So round two of belly dancing happened today. I did better than Monday, other than my feet hurting, and being totally uncoordinated moving my legs and arms. Time seemed to go by faster. I sweated and jiggled for 29 minutes and 10 seconds. Less silent cursing. A bit less sweaty naughty. Win win? Well, we'll see.

I'm lovin' the shower right after working out.

Not loving moving the couch after working out.

Hubby is a champ and will also be looking for something to go on the bottom feet of the couch so it will be easier to slide.

Did I mention I fucking love my Hubby?

Yeah.

Lunch was a double handful of baby carrots, 6 slices of colby-jack cheese, a couple bunches of red grapes, and a Hidden Valley Ranch dip. Only used less than half of the dip. Sooooo yummy.

Water, water, water of course.

Dinner is gonna be steak tips, cooked in butter and spices, over white rice, yummy!

There's something else I wanted to mention, but I totally forgot what it was.

Harder than I remember...

I've been both looking forward to and dreading today. So looking forward to a new routine for the next 4 weeks.

Fond memories of bellydancing (working out) for 4 months a year or two ago. Becoming obsessed with finding just the right silky material to make a waist scarf with the little coins so I could see/hear/feel them jingle about and shimmer as I did hip thrusts and twists. Feeling like a Goddess, calm, and beautiful at the end of the session. I wanted to feel like this again! I LOVED it. Felt better, looked better, a better mood, more energy, hell yeah!

Then the dread. I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to last the entire session. What if I hurt myself? What if I looked like a blobby fool? Oh dear god what if I quit and had to tell Hubby?!? My feet were already hurting like crazy what the fuck am I thinking? It was enough to make me sick to my tummy.

Well today reality hit.

And it hit HARD.

I woke up early (thank you Tim for calling Hubby at home while we were SLEEPING an waking me up /angry face) after a couple hours got hungry and ate three slices of the amazingness that Publix calls White Mountain Bread. You know the freshly baked thinly sliced bakery kind. Yeah, YUM. Then a hour later, after sending Hubby out the door, I nommed a cup of pineapple yogurt, for real breakfast. I was actually feeling good for the first time in weeks.

After indulging in some Neopet clicking, cleaning, and my new guilty pleasure, the Carrie Diaries, I decided it was time.

Still praising the person who uploaded Neena & Veena - Basic Dancing Moves ( in 4 parts). Love those women! It's a total of 29minutes and 10 seconds. (7:27 + 10 + 6:21 + 5:12) I took out time for the first Video's intro.
 
 Hubby did interrupt and call during one portion of the third video, in which I paused it and panted some answers through the phone.

Anywhoo. I spend the entire workout doing it all amazed that I was doing it at all while cursing them. I use to be tiny and perfect like that, I use to look like that, what the hell happened to me? Whatever. I've made peace with how I gained so much weight. But to be that tiny again WITH these boobs, I'll sign up for that any day! Kinda surprised that my feet started bothering me so much during the standing work, well not really, more like disappointed. Remembered how much of a jiggily mess my boobs are, and hips, and butt. Complete mess. Jiggles like jello. Remembering that, oh yeah, when I started doing this last time I was a jiggily sweaty mess. So nasty and sweaty! Especially between my legs, yuck. Yup, nothing changed this time around. Other than a little arm-pit smell, a very little, I didn't sweat anywhere else, proud to report. (Don't worry, I showered right after.)

I love love love the floorwork, it comes on part 4, so relaxing, strong, and soothing. THAT clenches the Goddess feel for me. 

Good and bad all rolled up into one that I'm going to do again on Wednesday, and again, and again for the next 4 weeks.

Lunch is gonna be some leftover fried chicken, potato salad, a piece of bread, and water.

Some more cleaning to do. I was laaaazy last week nursing my own feet pains.

Dinner is probably gonna be broccoli & cheese soup.

Here's to it being harder than I remember but satisfying being able to do it!

Week 4 Friday

Oh my god I cannot believe i made it 4 weeks!

4 weeks of dance warm-ups. 4 weeks of watching & noting what I eat, but not changing my dinners. 4 weeks of totally cutting back of Coke.

It hasn't been bad. I'm still irked that there are no discernible changes that I see, but Hubby did say that my butt looks a bit better. It's a start I guess.

I was incredibly hungry yesterday, but I think that's cause I actually ate a breakfast scrambler and instead of the normal breakfast fare, then nommed a handful of BBQ potato chips in lue of my normal lunch. Whatevs, I was all out of crackers, cheese, and fruit.I also spent 2 hours standing on my poor poor feet making Red Velvet cake balls dipped in white chocolate. Wish I took a picture, they were the prettiest ones yet! Hubby's co-workers and lucky people.

I only had half of one of the smallest cake balls last night, shared with Hubby so we could taste it. Not bad.

Funny how I love baking but don't really like eating it. =P

This morning breakfast was 3 Mini-Eggo Cinnamon Toasts. Hey, I had to finish up the box before it went bad!Water to drink.

Not sure what I'm going to eat for lunch, it's only 7:45pm, I'm not hungry yet.

Already worked out. I was going to put it off till tomorrow cause my feet hurt worse than ever, but decided not to. I really don't want to work out tomorrow. Hurt like hell, well my feet do. Might as well get it over with, right?

Dinner tonight is gonna be Taco Bell, yum! 1 Crunch wrap supreme (I think that's what it's called), cinnamon twists, and some sort of drink. =)

Valentine's Day...early.

Frustratingly enough D&D was cancelled yesterday cause one of our players was sick. =(

The day was pretty amazing though!

My books were delivered from Barnes & Noble. Yay! Hubby asked at least 3x if he could open the box while he was opening it. It was great to see him excited. Then we packed up 2 watercolours and headed out to Michael's Craft Store to get them framed. Framing is EXPENSIVE! Disgustingly so. They are his paintings so his decisions. Next stop was a shoe store, he needed new shoes. He's a madman at work and always wears out the heels of his shoes to less than nothing. He's also really picky so I hope these shoes work out. A quick jump over to Gamestop to look for a Neocash Card (for me), stupid store smelled like mold and didn't have any cards, booo!

I was so hungry by the time we got done it was crazy. I'd been up since 3-4 and it was 7 so my tummy was turning on itself. We treated ourselves to a yummy little place called Logan'sRoadhouse.

It could have been such a bad meal. My sweet tea wasn't sweet, they were out of mac & cheese, and they didn't have our dessert (mini strawberry cheesecakes). Our server was such a delight! Poor guy. The rest of the meal was amazing. Beer batter bread, perfectly cooked steaks, amazing potato skins,  steamed broccoli everything! Yummy yum yum. I didn't eat it all there, only about 1/2 the meal, the rest came home to be nomed on throughout the rest of our day. Our server surprised us, by packing a freaking HUGE brownie (we asked for our dessert to go). He must have felt bad about everything earlier, and happy we didn't complain about a single thing. Non-sweet tea? No problem, I'll just gulp it down cause I'm mega thirsty. No mac & cheese? Whatever! Bring on the freshly baked potato chips. None of my fav mini strawberry cheesecakes? Well let me look over the menu again....okay brownie!

I swear that brownie is gonna last me 2 weeks.

The only downfall to an amazing day yesterday was that my feet hurt worse than ever. Still hurt like crazy today. Meh.

Yesterday was our Valentines Day. Hubby works on the 14th. I even got my pressie. (Yay Nc Card!)

So breakfast today was the remainder of leftovers yesterday. That's not bad is it? I didn't want to waste food.

Worked out again, same 15 sets of dance stretches. 20 situps & backwards situps.

Lunch was a snack of goldfish crackers. I didn't want much. Though I'm still craving chocolate like crazy.

No clue with dinner again. =P

4th Monday

It's the 4th Monday since I started this. Going in with mixed feelings, kinda proud of myself, mostly anxious. The fear of failing is welling up, worried about moving on to a new set of movement next week. I know I can do it, I DID do it for 4 months last year before telling anyone, but I'm still anxious.

This weekend was nice. Doing nothing but playing Final Fantasy IX on Saturday was a lovely change, then again on Sunday with Hubby. Indulged in pizza and a Coke on Friday, then Hubby got up extra early (for us) on Saturday to get Chinese food, had 2 cans of Coke, yum yum. I would have had a sweet tea from McD's but I accidentally spilled it. THAT made me sad.

Breakfast was a bowl of cereal; Berry Berry Kix with rice milk. I, being the wonderful kitty mommy that I am, shared the last of the milk with my oldest kitty Ebony. She feels entitled to the last of the milk in a bowl, or ice cream, mashed potatoes, whatever's in a bowl really.

Bowl = Ebony's

Lunch is going to be some crackers, beef jerky, the last of my cheese, and some spinach leaves.

Dinner is Hamburger Helper. I'm not complaining.

Water to drink all the live-long-day.

Did the exercises 15 sets, a couple sets of 10 thrown in (mainly arm stretches), 20 sit ups (not too wimpy looking) & reverse sit-ups.

Tomorrow is D&D day, barring any unforeseen snafoo's. I can't wait. I REALLY can't wait for Hubby to come home, I miss him. He's such a hard worker. <3

Week 3 Ending

Well it's Friday, the third week of this whole journey, a couple of things to note:

• I REALLY wish changes were easier to see, if there are any at all. It would make this so much easier. Look! You're ass is less fatty, sweet! Go girl, go! Yeah...that would be nice.

•  I'm happy to report I'm not hungry as much, water probably plays a big deal in that.

• The only tricky time is 11pm-1am that when the omgIgottaeatnowordie happens. Instead of wholly fighting it, I've snacked just a little. Maybe crackers or a piece of chocolate. 

•  I'm perspiring a bit less than when I started, that's good, it's easier to get through the whole routine without dying. 

• Still gotta work on breathing. 

• My legs feel stronger. Feet still hurt but that has nothing to do with any of this. I'm worried about my knee popping out of place and being laid up for weeks again.

Food yesterday was nice, cereal for breakfast (Berry Berry Kix), in rice milk. Lunch was several slices of Colby-Jack cheese, crackers, and Spinach leaves. Made a pretty tasty meal. Dinner was Mac & Cheese & Bacon. Ohh I have to note, I did have a double helping of Lemon bars for dessert, that Hubby made, but it was too much, so only 1 tonight. =P

Also Hubby surprised me with an entire box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates last night. So sweet. I only ate 1.

I'm a little annoyed he keeps getting me goodies, but in the end he's right. I have a craving sometimes, and chocolate does help with my migraines, so it's good to have around. I'm insisting on sharing the box with him, he deserves goodies too.

I've kept up the 15 sets of exercises today, 20 sit-ups and 20 reverse sit-ups. Added some more arm stretches to the routine.

Breakfast was another bowl of cereal, haven't had lunch yet, probably gonna be more crackers, spinach leaves, and cheese.

No idea what's for dinner, none whatsoever.

After 9 satisfying hours...

Yesterday was a well needed 9 hour D&D game. SO GOOD! Good company, good game, good eats. I can't wait till next Tuesday. Also only had 2 Cokes. Go me!

Breakfast today was the leftover pasta from Sunday and accompanying sausage. Just a tiny bit of pasta, but it worked out well. Water to drink of course.

I'm missing having Gatoraid to drink in the house. Just kinda. Might have Hubby pick up some tonight if he's going to run to the store before he comes home.

I did work out for a half hour today. Think the key is not rushing through everything. Found myself trying to do it all a bit quickly and forced myself to slowdown and BREATH. Still need to work on remembering to breath. It's stupidly not as easy as it sounds. 15 sets of everything with the nominal 20 sit-ups. I did have to take several short 5-10 second breaks again when standing, but am chalking that up to my feet still HURTING.

I did find myself being afraid of the thought of starting belly dancing after next week. Sounds silly, but I can do this much now, what if I fail at trying to do more? I know it's silly and I know I can move on after next week. Just fears I guess. Fear at failing.

I did have Hubby give me the once over look after my shower yesterday to see if he can see any changes, cause gods know I can't. After a few critical minutes there was a verdict.

"Your butt looks better."

"Really? How? Anything else?"

"Nope, not yet, your but looks firmer though. Keep it up, your doing good."

With his hug winning smile and a hug I took the token improvement happily. It's small but it's a start.

Probably not going to go to the Ren Faire this year, but whatever, I'm just not feelin' it, and it dosen't help that I don't fit into any of my outfits. Meh.

Not sure what I'm going to eat later maybe the lone yogurt in the fridge.

Dinner will finally be buttered chicken over spinach leaves with croutons.

Aches & Pain

Urgh.

I do not want to workout today.

Do. Not.

But I will for as long as I can.

I hurt, something fierce. HURT. My feet hurt, left foot right now mainly, right where the arch is on a normal foot, I have a bone, and it H-U-R-T-S. It was doing okay yesterday, a little achy, until last night in the shower. Just showering normally and all of a sudden PAIN. Whatever was healing got re-hurt, and I didn't even do anything. Not turn, not slip, not nuthin'. Sucks.

I'm tired of complaining to Hubby and I'm sure he's tired of hearing it. I'm tired of hearing it.

Food on Saturday was nothing to brag about, but we ordered Olive Garden yesterday, and Oh. My God. SO GOOD! It was crazy good. And only drank 1 Coke, go me!

Leftover salad for breakfast, maybe 8 croutons added on top. LOVE that salad!

Water, of course.

Then 3 Hershey's Milk Chocolate with Almond Nuggets. Found those in a bag that fell under my table. Score!

Later I'm going to finish off my spaghetti and sausage, maybe with a bread stick, we'll see. I have some smoked mozzarella fondu left, sounds like it would pair well with a bread stick. Yes, yes, I think so.

Okay...so now a break for me to work out...

...Wew! Done. 23 minutes. Added several sets to the pile. Lightheaded right now, sweating a bit, not much, a little breathless. Gonna shower soon, well, as soon as I'm done with this.

Dinner is probably gonna be bagel bites. Not that I'm complaining. =P

Second Week Wrap-Up

So it's now officially 2 weeks, yay! 2 more weeks of dance warm-ups to go then onto belly dancing for a month then yoga-lates for a month. Probably gonna rotate those so this old body dosen't get too use to one routine.

I feel better as a whole. That's a good thing. Looking forward to working out every other day so far.

Did 10 sets of everything again 20 pushups. The pushups are still weak but I'm getting a higher lift off the floor than last week.

Weighed myself at Publix on Tuesday, we don't have a scale at our house and don't want to get one. 174lbs. That's 40lbs I'd like to loose to get down to 130, but would probably be happy at 150lbs.

Onto food:

I did have a Milano cookie Wednesday night at 11ish. Seriously the chocolate craving was HUGE.

Dinner was Mac & Cheese & Bacon with some leftover frozen yogurt for dessert. Yummy.

Today breakfast was a fresh fried chicken leg from Publix & a banana.

Really odd breakfast, but Hubby had to go to Publix and pick up a new antibiotic prescription cause the old stuff was making him dizzy and sick. He wanted chicken and picked up some. Can't say I blame him that stuff is ah-mazing.

Lunch will probably be the other chicken leg and something else, maybe the last of the grapes before they go bad.

Water, water, water all the live long day. I'm looking forward to my Coke on Sunday, just one though.

Dinner is gonna be some butter chicken cooked on the stovetop by me, over a bed of fresh spinach leaves, with a couple croutons. Can't wait!