Ugh

Long story short I was sick yesterday. Not head-cold sick, but tummy is gonna crawl out of my throat sick.

I'm pretty pissed at myself for not being able to workout or do the second load of dishes, or even fold laundry. I stayed curled up in bed whimpering and hoping that I'd actually throw up and be done with it.

Didn't happen.

Nothing tasted right, or good, or satisfying. And I drank 2 cans of Sprite to try and calm my tummy. Ugh.

I feel better today. Hopefully I'll stay better. Gonna workout on Monday.


Till then!

The aftermath of Vacations.

It's been said, and personally experienced, that you need a vacation after a vacation. This is especially true when you go away for vacation. Packing, tickets, gas, pet sitters, luggage, spending money, car rental, hotel rooms. It's enough to drive a person batty!

Hubby and I have a secret for vacations.

We don't travel.

Vacation for us is staying home doing anything and nothing. Enjoying each others company, appreciating the scarce days we have wholly unto ourselves, and just being. We also indulge eating food that's usually not prepared at our home. Not lots and lots of obscene greasiness, but smoothies, an occasional burger, pizza, chili from Wendy's (for me), stuff like that.

It's the perfect recipe for our type of vacation.

Especially because we had a 3-day Dungeons & Dragons game session going on.

The aftermath of it is the realization that we don't get anything done. (Well we did vacuum & wash the carpet in 1 room.) We don't do dishes every day, or laundry, or anything. Hell, today's the first day I saw the kitchen in 5 days.

We also miss each other. Him going to work leaves the house empty and cold. I realize just how much more I always want him around. It sucks. It sucks more when he calls and says he wishes he was home and misses me. Makes my heart break.

Eventually the numbness that is his going to work every day will become normal again and we'll dream of his next vacation. We're already dreaming of it, planning on how we'll lounge and just be.

~

I did workout today, despite my period going into a full-blown beginning. I thought 3 days of spotting and mild cramps had to do with the meds mixing into my body and that would be it. Nope. Today is painfully bloody hell, but I worked out. Kinda proud of myself.

Breakfast was some grapes followed, several hours later by, a small bowl of pasta shells with a pat of butter sprinkled with garlic powder and a dash of salt.

I did snack on a peppermint stick and 2 pieces of chocolate.

Lunch is going to have a pickle in it and whatever else I can rustle out of the fridge. No clue what.

Dinner is going to be a burger cooked up here with a couple chips on top of it.

I'm back on the water horse, a lovely teal pitcher half-empty next to me. I -may- have a can of Coke with dinner. Not sure yet.

7 Cokes in 3 Days

It's safe to say from my title that I've indulged a lot in the past 3 days, and it's going to continue through Wednesday night.

Hubby has a mini-vacation which we are spending at home, indulging in good-but-not-all-the-way-healthy food, soda, Pina Colotta smoothies, Final Fantasy XI, and D&D games.

I'm not going to be working out until Thursday, then again on Saturday. That way I get 3 workouts in this week. It's not my optimal plan, but when an epic 3 day D&D session is proposed, optimal can go kiss my still large ass.

I did voice my concern about drinking so much soda. I'm feeling bloated right now (thank you period) and my fingers feel it, especially. Oddly enough I don't feel like I'm going to burst into tears looking at myself in the mirror. I'm a bit puffy but okay. Not like the past 2 months when I feel like a freaking marshmallow. Hubby said, and I quote:

"It's my vacation. We have to splurge during my vacation."

Good enough for me.

Here's to another 2 days of vacation and the continuance of epicness!

The urge.

I got the urge to workout today. Crazy, right? On a Saturday. With Hubby home!

Urgh, what's wrong with me?

Well I got the urge and followed it through, convincing Hubby to take a break from FFXI and work on his D&D game instead while I got all embarrassed and naughty-part sweaty in front of him. Nekkie. I don't envy the view he got, but I wasn't going to change how I workout cause he was home.

How was it?

Well the workout was tougher than normal, not taking the embarrassment into account. Apparently my leg is sore from a sore foot yesterday. Meh. It did cramp during the workout. (Ouch!) But I did the whole thing.

Hubby's assessment?

"I don't think that's the kind of thing that will help you loose weight. It's just a lot of stretching."

-.-

So I explained to him parts 1-3 need to be done for 28 days to build up muscle tone, that part 4 was the "hard part", and he hmmmm'ed me. I also nicely pointed out that it's not the only thing I'm sticking to, that he was more than welcome to do it with me on Monday, and he said:

"I'm sure the stretching is good, but I don't really see how it's going to help you."

Blargh!

I'm only on day 12 of 28. Almost halfway there. Not going to stop. Gotta do this. Damn it hubby!

Well, at least I know I can get through the workout with him inside the house and I won't embarrass into a pile of goo.

I just need to ignore the new urge to kick him.

Reflecting

Today was the service for my best friend's Mother.

It was sweet, simple, and to the point.

I sat next to my best friend, holding her hand and touching foreheads.

Although several people showed up (mainly their family) she and I sat alone, behind her father, aunt, and grandmothers.

It was poetic in it's own way.

Her Mother suffered from mental illness for years before cancer claimed her. Like I mentioned before, I was never very close to her, but what I do know is that she was one of the nicest people I have ever met. Selfless, even when fighting with her daughter. And very giving.

We all met at a nearby Cracker Barrel to eat afterwards, her Dad made sure that Hubby and I sat next to them, as he shared stories and pictures of his wife. I'm glad to say that tears were at a minimum today. The loss will always remain, but, and especially after the service, there was much laughter. I also have to mention that most of her family made me feel very welcome. Especially her grandparents. It was nice not feeling out of place.

~

Getting to the service as less difficult than it would have been without the medicines I'm on. I can say that with 100% certainty. I did also make sure that I did not eat or drink before traveling and I took 2 Pepto pills, just in case. The drive was pleasant, we made 2 very short pit-stops, just to potty, and arrived nearly a half hour early. The drive home was even easier, though one of the medicines (which only last for a short time) wore off. I am sunburned, not badly, but bright pink.

Tonight I'm not going to work out, but instead, am going to take the evening to reflect on my life and appreciate those around me.

Breakfast today was eaten in 2 parts with a couple hours in between. Eggs in a Basket, turkey sausage, hashbrown casserole, and orange juice.

Lunch will be a big bowl of grapes and maybe a couple bites of leftover breakfast sausage & hashbrowns.

Dinner will most likely be leftover steak and rice from dinner last night.

So many things.

So many things have happened since Saturday.

So many things.

First, and most somber of all, my best friends mom passed on Saturday. It's both re-leaving and worrying. I was never very close with her, but I respected the woman, and enjoyed the time we spent together. I was honoured that she shared her worries about her daughter with me. She's no longer suffering. That's the most important thing. Her family is no longer holding their breaths and can finally breath again.

I'm worried for the future of my friend. She's a strong girl and her dad's a strong, if stubborn man. But she's been through so many things these past few months, that I can hardly grasp. She's doing really well handling her mother's passing. I know it helps to be a part of the process and care-taking, but it seems like I'm holding my breath waiting for her to have a mini-breakdown.

Sounds silly.

I'll always be there for her.

In lighter news, Hubby has had the past 4 days off. It's been wonderful to have him close by. He's relaxing and lounging, just like he deserves. We've over indulged and gotten me a new computer, so I can continue playing FFXI with him, despite my very vocal denials. We've gone out to eat once, and splurged in Burger King's new Pina Colotta smoothies 3 days in a row.

I didn't actually get to work out on Monday. Hubby was in a battle with his computer and by the time he got it to work, he just wanted to play FFXI for the rest of the day. So I caved and lounged with him all day. I did feel awful not working out, if that's anything.

There also was a epic 8.5 hour D&D session yesterday. We splurged again on pizza. It was good to see my best friend actually having fun and laughing. She's probably the only reason we played till 5am. All of us loved seeing her happy after a week of somberness.

Needless to say, the past 4 days I've had more Coke than I should have. It was good. I only regret it a tiny bit.

I will probably work out tonight. Probably.

Breakfast was a bagel with butter, and a cup of tea.

Lunch will be a apple or two.

Dinner will probably be mac & cheese & bacon.

Day 10 of 28

Not working out on Monday was really apparent to me today. I still didn't sleep really well, maybe 4 hours of solid sleep then 4 hours of dozing and jerking myself awake. It dosen't help that our AC needs a freon jolt, so it's not cooling anything down, and it humidly hot outside. The AC should be fixed by tomorrow. Yay!

I considered not working out at all today and picking it up next week. I really did. But that just open the door to making more and more excuses and then ultimately not doing anything at all. We can't have that now.

The heat in the house made it more icky working out, I'm totally sure. Then I laid on the floor for 15 minutes trying to cool down. I can't wait to get a shower. (Soon as I'm done writing this!)

Dare I say I think I'm starting to tone up? I might be. My tummy goes flatter when working on the abs and my legs seem stronger during the lower body workout. I still don't see any apparent changes when looking in the mirror. Maybe in 18 more workouts there will be something. I hope.

Breakfast was a bagel half cream cheese half butter.

Lunch is gonna be some leftover angel food cake and apples. (Hey now, I can't let the cake spoil!) Maybe some homemade Chex mix for a snack later.

I don't know about dinner tonight. I'll probably get Hubby to pick up something. I do know there's a McD's Sweet Tea in my future tonight.


P.S. Working out in the dark with a candle is totally soothing.