Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Do do do!

Second Wednesday workout done!

I gotta say, it's a bit harder banishing the thought of letting 'just today' pass by without doing anything. Slipping into a day of lounging and nothingness, nursing the pains in my belly and feet would be all too easy. But knowing that if I did it today, it would be that much easier to do on Friday, and then again Monday, and then fall into doing nothingness all together. It's a slippery slope. I don't want to fall down into it.

My period hit pretty hard, but not as bad as it could be.

What's worse it my feet. Right now that pain is unbelievable. I don't honestly remember ever being in this much pain without recovering from a surgery. After walking just a little bit in Publix yesterday morning (4pm) to pick up Hubby's prescriptions, a few fruits, and cheese, I was hobbling so badly. It was hard to make it to the car without holding onto his arm in a death grip.

There was no D&D yesterday. Very disappointing not that I can blame Hubby. Apparently his jaw isn't healing like it should be. The dentist mentioned something about 'dry socket', tortured him with a piece of wax covered in medicine and had him bite down. He was in so much pain coming out of the office I honestly thought he was going to faint. Thankfully he didn't, but instead got a new pain med and a prescription for something that should help him heal faster (from what he told me). I did get direct words from one of the dentists to 'Not let him be Superman, if he hurts come back next week, no matter what.' there is that. The new prescription makes him VERY dizzy, which could have been fun, if he felt better.

He drove to work today all by himself, we'll see how the week goes. He looked a lot better today. ^-^

Breakfast was a lowfat pineapple yogurt cup, not bad, I was surprised at how light it was, I might get more lowfat flavours and see how they taste. Also a banana. I've been craving bananas for 2 weeks now. Had one yesterday and couldn't pass up one for breakfast today.

20 minute workout today.

10 sets of every dance stretch I could think of, save the big movements (hops, jumps, etc.). I admit I did pause several times to catch my breath and adjust foot positions because of the pain, but as a whole it felt good. Heart started pounding towards the end again, not too bad.

Still on plan to start the belly dancing in 2 weeks, hopefully what I'm doing now is building up some base muscle and endurance.

Lunch is more cheese slices, grapes, crackers, and the remaining shreds of beef jerky.

Not sure what I'm going to eat tomorrow, other than grapes, and cheese, and crackers. Maybe that will be enough.

I've been craving chocolate like no one's business. It dosen't help that hubby bought me a package of Milano cookies that are staring me in the face. It also dosen't help that he keeps telling me to have one. Love him. I've resisted today so far, probably will have one tonight after dinner.

Food yesterday was crazy!

Banana for breakfast.

Then 3 Milano cookies.

Then we went out for lunch. (I drove.) Burgrking; a Whopper, small fry, and watered down small sprite.


We went to My Mochi, cause he wanted frozen yogurt to help him feel better. I totally filled up a cup of Taro-Coco 'Nilla halfway, added more Taro only on top, and then packed in tangerine mochi bits. To be honest I only ate 1/3 of what I got, the rest is in the freezer for dessert later. (Master plan muhaha.)

Dinner was some chicken Ramen (noodles only but cooked in broth) with some cheese slices mixed it. It was an attempt at Ramen mac & cheese, it failed, but tasted good.

Then I had one more Milano cookie and ate one of Hubby's Tahoe cookies. (I can't figure out if I like them or not.)

No coke! Sad, but I wasn't feeling a coke. Just wanted lots of water.

Dinner tonight is I have no idea what. We'll see. Probably Mac & Cheese & Bacon. No clue.

Till Friday!

Monday, January 28, 2013

Monday Again

Week 2

Sounds official, right? Week 2.

Whatever. =P

Last week was hectic, Hubby all sore and unable to drive, me having to leave the house being stressed. I already foresee this week being chock full of trials. First off my period started, which in and of itself wouldn't be a big deal if I was a normal woman, but apparently my body does not appreciate not being pregnant and hasn't since I was 13, therefor it decides to kick my uterus' ass. Every. Freaking. Month. Some months are worse than others. Last month wasn't so bad, I had pretty good control over my emotions without help of some Evening Primrose Oil pills, I wasn't doubled over in the bed wishing for death wondering how much more pain I'd be in if I didn't use Midol Extended Relief pills (the little blue ones you can only take 1 of every 8 hours) in a dark room, head pounding. Yeah it's not fun.

Today hurts, but I was good took a pill, and even worked out!

Tomorrow might be worse, but I'll deal with that then.

Yogurt cup for breakfast, strawberry this time.

I cheated a little and had a fun sized peanut M&M's just before lunch. The chocolate craving hit hard.

Lunch was at 9p.m. more cheese & crackers & beef jerky alongside some red grapes. I have a bunch left sitting next to me in anticipation of snacking later. Water is the drink of the day.

Today was only a 20 minute workout I took it slow and steady instead of trying to rush through. Not that I have much of a choice

10 reps of various dance stretches and movements. 20 very sad sit-ups.

My heart didn't start pounding until the very end, and I think that's because I held my breath. It's a stupid thing I subconsciously do. I use to do it while dancing a lot and then wonder why I was dizzy. Go figure. =P

Perhaps all the stress and walking last week did some good.

I did mess up my left foot with all the walking, but it will heal.

Tomorrow is D&D day (with any luck) it's also the day Hubby gets the stitches out of his jaw. No clue what's on the menue tonight or tomorrow, so we'll see on Wednesday!


I did have 2 cans of Coke yesterday, but that's Hubby's fault, he insisted. It was a bad day so I gave into the goodness Coke is.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Friday Update

It's 9:01pm and I just had lunch. A bunch of red grapes, some colby-jack cheese slices, crackers, and a few strips of beef jerky. Feelin' good in my tummy, my feet and a knot in my left leg is another whole story. Dinner will be some mash of leftover meat and potatoes after 2am. Let's hope there's no snacking between now and then, right? Of course right.

The weekend is coming up, I'm looking forward to my coke on Sunday, but not dying without it. I think Hubby being in so much pain after the dentist visit is actually more beneficial to me right now. He's been keeping me busy taking care of him, and him not being able to drive one-ups my anxiety about being in a car.

I've taken so many Pepto pills in the past week, I'm not sure I'll be able to ever poop normally again. =P

Maybe I should have started next week.

These past few days have been pretty hectic, physical, mentally trying, but I'm still up for whatever trials today brings.


I did not get to see my family or go home. Stayed with Hubby all day. Did SO MUCH walking! Ate a breakfast of a yogurt cup. Lunch was 6 Tyson chicken tenders with honey mustard (from the concession stand) and a can of coke. (yeah yeah I know, I had a coke on a non-coke day) Several sips of water from the water fountain throughout the day. Followed up by Dragon Meat over Puddies. (Marinated meat with whipped potatoes.) I drank gatoraid with dinner. Not so bad not really unhealthy, so much freaking walking!


Completely footsore. My thighs feel better but now my feet fucking hurt so much!

Breakfast was another yogurt cup.

I met up with my family at the theater after they watched a movie, and went out to dinner with them (lunch for me). Steak n'Shake. I was beyond thrilled when my little sister ordered the Wisconson burger, thrilled that we like the EXACT same food there, a little envious that I wasn't ordering one. I did get the Chilli & Cheese Frank with onions. It wasn't covered in butter but instead with veggies & chilli & cheese, it felt a lot lighter (grease-wise) to eat. I only munched 3 or 4 fried before being full after the hotdog. I did have a cup of Sprite, but their water tastes nasty, and the soda is always watered down.

So much walking again! Not as much as Wednesday, but I had to literally thing about propelling myself forward, in order to keep walking.

Dinner was pot-roast tips over left over Puddies. It was a 3 hour wait for dinner after  we got home at 2am, but the food was worth it. I had a really small helping to make sure I finished my bowl. Drank more Gatoraid with dinner, though Hubby tried to convince me to have a coke so he could have Dr.Pepper. Didn't give in, if I had he wouldn't sleep all night with the caffeine in him. I'm a good wife. =)

Today is Friday, Hubby will be up in a bit. I have to drive him to work again and see my family tonight before they leave Saturday morning. My feet flipping hurt more! Will probably go home after I see them and wait for Hubby to be out of work then go pick him up. I'm not planning on working out today, I don't honestly think I could stand on my feet long enough to, but who knows what will happen in several hours.

I'll post a update later.


Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Schedule change probably...

Well on Monday for dinner we had breaded chicken over white rice, I only ate half my portion and was full, but I feel like I kinda, sorta, need to mention, before cooking at 2am (dinner for us) over the course of several hours I ate a roll of bread, a couple handful of chips, and a single Hershey's Milk Chocolate almond nugget. A little un-planned un-warranted snacking, but it's done. I did feel kinda nasty after eating those things, like I shouldda gotten some fruit, but at the time that's what was close and that's when the body wanted.

My thighs were killing me by the end of the night from exercise, but that was to be expected. A little part of me wanted to quit before I even got started, but with a pep talk from Hubby, and scaring myself with how out of shape I really am, it should all keep going.

Yesterday, Tuesday, is I guess I'll call a 'free day', it's Hubby's day off, and usually our D&D game day, so whatever happens happens. He had dental surgery to get a tooth pulled, which meant he was babied all day. I'm pretty proud that I only had 1 coke (first time in 4 days, yay!) to go with some re-heated dinner. I ate pretty well (smartish) all day, and did have a cup of frozen yogurt (Mmmmm Taro & Coco'Nilla) when Hubby begged me to go out to Mochi's and get him some.

 Thighs were still sore. Only at the end of the night though, guess the early day caught up with me.

Today, is gonna be a odd day. My middle brother, his wife, and my niece are arriving in Florida for a whirl-wind 3 day visit. I have to drive Hubby to work, they want to come see a movie, which means I'll probably be at Hubby's job allllll day. No idea what's on the menu for the day, I'm planning on a cup of yogurt for breakfast and some grapes. We'll see how the day goes, I don't really see exercise in the cards, but I can always make up for missing a day on Saturday if I have to.

Can't wait to see my family!!!

Monday, January 21, 2013

Day 1

Well it's Monday, and I started.

Breakfast was peach yogurt some grapes and a cup of water. Not too bad. A little afraid I'll be really hungry later, but whatever.

Today's workout scared me.

It only lasted for 25 minutes, but I thought my heart was gonna burst.

There wasn't any room for belly dancing right now (furniture will be moved tonight) so instead I decided to do some basic dance warm ups.

Some simple leg lifts (front, back, side) parallel position, 25 each both left and right legs.

By this time my heart started pounding so I cut down to 10 demi and grande plies in hopes of, you know, not collapsing. Followed by 15 arm windmills, forwards and backwards.

20 majorly embarrassing tummy crunches.

15 various leg stretches on my back.

Some modern movement and stretches curled up in a sitting position on my butt.

Finished with 20 back-ups.

THEN I collapsed on the floor gasping for breath like a dying fish.

Once I was sure I could get up without falling I turned down the AC and carefully sipped water.

Hubby called 15 minutes later, I broke down and sniffled over the phone, while he offered encouragement being obviously tired from work already.

A couple things; I am obviously out of shape (duh). My right knee got really wobbly which is concerning. I gotta work on my endurance, which might mean 4 weeks of dance warm-ups before diving into the actual belly dancing. But I got to do this.

It's only 8:10pm as I'm finishing up this entry, lunch isn't for another hour. I'm not hungry right now, but a lot can change in a hour. I'm planning on some crackers, cheese, and beef jerky if I get really hungry, if not probably gonna snack on some more grapes. Lets plan on the cheese and crackers, eh?

Dinner will either be breaded chicken over white rice OR butter chicken with garlic noodles, whatever Hubby chooses, I'll make.

Here's to Day 1 and looking towards Wednesday!

Saturday, January 19, 2013


So last night, pretty much from far, far, left field my husband kinda, sorta, told me I should be eating healthier.

We were on the phone, I exhausted, achy, and footsore, from traveling yesterday to visit my family and then standing for a couple hours making cake balls for his co-workers today. He sore, tired, and exhausted from working like a mad-man cause they were understaffed and no one else would help out. Trying to figure out what to have for dinner. Taco Bell was out, it's yummy but the indigestion it gives at night just isn't worth it. We're all McDonalds out, nothing there sounded appealing. Which left Steak n'Shake. YUM. There's only one thing I REALLY like there, and it's pretty much a mild heart clot in buttery burger form. The Wisconson Burger. was then he said it. "That's not exactly healthy, you shouldn't eat it."

It was like a huge slap.

He has never ever said anything like that to me.

He might as well said, 'Your a fat slob, and I'm leaving you for a younger, more energetic, and perkier girl, with bigger boobs.'

I had two choices. 1. Hang up on him and start a fight that wouldn't have any foreseeable end. Or 2. Ask what the hell he meant by that.

Well we honestly don't fight. Yeah, yeah, we get upset sometimes, but we don't fight, yell, scream, argue. Not in the 15 years we've been together, so I went with option 2. Which was annoying cause he's sore, and when he's sore he's a little moody (so am I) and nothing much got said except he threatened to come home without dinner, and I told him to do whatever he wanted, but I'm to sore to cook. Blah, blah, blah... 

"Do you want a sweet tea?"

"Yes please, if your stopping by there."

"Yeah, I'll be home, after I get done ordering food for us."

We hung up and I sat on my couch for 45 minutes trying to figure out where the hell he was coming from.

Long story short, I use to be this tiny thing who danced, and bounced around, and was involved with so many performance groups it would make you go cross-eyed. Fast forward 15 years later, I'm 30-something, 5'4", and about 75-80 lbs overweight. I still have energy, really I do, except it seems that every time I'm up for doing something fun, I end up hurt. Physically injured. It's not fun. So I don't do much of anything anymore. I know I'm overweight, not obscenely, but I have enough junk in the trunk for 2 cars, thighs that actually are starting to have stretch marks, and a tummy. Not just a little cute pudgy tummy, but a tummy, that pisses me off when I see it, so I've kept it covered.

Hubby has always been sweetly honest. Not fake honest. He knows I don't like sugar coated lies. He's said several times. "Yes your bigger, you just need to tone yourself up. I don't care if your this size, just be toned." He also loves my boobs. Since I've gained weight, I've gained boobs, and he's over-the-moon about them. I didn't use to have boobs, really, just tiny little breasts. 

I like my boobs too, to be honest. I really really like my boobs, never thought I'd have them.

I don't like my tummy, or thighs, or back fat. 

He came home, took some pain medicine, and tried to relax while I nommed my skinny fries, sharing a couple with 2 of our 4 cats, in silence. He was uncomfortable and tense, something was up. Like he knew he said something and couldn't figure out what else to say or take it back. He also turned on the T.V. 90% of the time there is no T.V. on at night, he likes to come home and relax in quiet. His job is noisy all the live-long-day. So settling in we watched Future-Rama and I nommed my burger. It was good, but there was a bitter after taste left in my throat. He of course got a healthy looking chicken club sammich, then again he always gets that. During commercials I talked and tried to keep things normal, you know, to try to take the tensity out, until the pain killers kicked in. Rubbed the back of his neck, asked if he wanted me to fill the bath tub, things like that.

Food finished, show over, he went to get a bath and invited me in. Which is lovely, though our stoopid apartment tub is pretty small, I can fit in if I sit cross-legged, back against the spout, bum plush with the knob of the drain plug.. We talked about his day, my boring day, and I gently brought up the topic of the food comment. Trapped with no-where to run, he sighed and gave in. It was obviously uncomfortable for him and he obviously thought I was going to grow a second head at any moment to kill him with, but he told me.

"You don't do anything all day, you just sit around, and I'm worried about you. You need to loose some weight, and tone up, I don't care what you eat, you just gotta be active. What do you need? I'll buy any exercise equipment you want as long as you use it. What about that thing that goes between your legs and you push?"

"A thigh master?"

"Yeah that!"

*I laugh* "That thing won't work."

"Why not? Whatever. What do you need?"

He quickly and elegantly put me face to face with one of my private fears. Failure. I know I could start a routine & healthier diet, stick to it for a week or three, but then...stop. He's not home most of the day, he works, he'd never know that I wasn't using whatever exercise thing he got me. But I'd know. I'd know and hate myself for it. Growing up, my Dad bought my Mom whatever she wanted for exercise equipment, she'd use it for about a week and stop. I'm afraid that that attitude kinda, sorta, got ingrained in me. I HATE it. I've also keenly avoided any sort of setup that was similar, just in case I'm actually like that. I'm more afraid that I am, than actually know if I am. (Does that make any sense? Whatever!)

So I told him. Every little thing.

He nodded over the dissipating bubbles, his thinking face on.

"I really liked belly dancing." I toss out.

REALLY really liked it!

"Why did you stop?"

So I told him the lame excuse of us moving the couch in the middle of the room taking up floor space. Which was true, but deep down inside I knew I could have moved the damn couch like I did the first two weeks after it got moved. When I started belly dancing I did it in secret, only told me Daddy over dinner one day. I wanted it to be a surprise, once I was toned and slimmed, I'd tell everyone. I also did it for 3 months before telling Hubby, and he was delighted, pointing out on my body just where he saw improvements.  I was practically glowing with praise and self-satisfaction. And then...two weeks after, I fell down a flight of stairs. 

Home alone. My cell phone sitting comfortably upstairs on the couch. I was bruised, sore, and pretty sure almost snapped the ligament on my right knee. I crawled upstairs, called Hubby, and bawled to him what happened. I couldn't stand on my right leg, but it wasn't broken, and I apparently had a sudden case of stupid hit, because I wouldn't let him take me to the hospital.

I have feet problems. I was born with both feet upside down and backwards. I honestly don't remember the medical term for my ailment, but on a scale of severity 1-10, I was a 9. I didn't know anything was different about me until 6th grade, after the second-to-last surgery. Bless my parents, they never treated me differently, never let on something was different, and my 4 younger siblings didn't know anything was out of sorts. Thanks to my parents, some amazing doctors, and countess hours in and out of casts, corrective braces, and ignorant bliss, I led a normal life growing up. Aside from the occasional surgery and doctor visits, but that was normal for me. 30-some odd years later, 7 corrective surgeries, 1 big high school knee injury that kept getting re-hurt throughout the years (mainly from dancing), my feet are starting to break down.

The way I walk is throwing my knees and hips out of alignment. There's near-consistent pain, some days are alright, some days I can't get up out of bed. I can't sleep anymore without the help of sleeping aids, cause of the pain. Most fun of all my right knee gives out at the drop of a hat. Pops out of place, usually when I'm walking, and down I go! This past couple years my good knee, my left knee has given out. I guess it's getting jealous of all the non-attention it gets. It gotten to the point that I can't go grocery shopping with any certainty for fear of falling. I usually hold onto Hubby's arm when we go out.

Back to last night!

He was worried about belly dancing, insisting on something low impact. I pointed out, gently, that it was low-impact. He didn't seem convinced. I told him the only other thing I was interested in as a under-desk bike-peddle-thing. He was worried about my knee, but more agreeable. I wasn't happy at the thought of spending monies on something that might become a new footstool, so went back to the belly dancing idea, pointing out that it didn't cost anything, and if I got hurt, we could go another exercise route. He looked thoughtful and nodded, sweetening the deal, and completely won me over (I didn't need any more convincing) by saying that if I kept it up he'd get me NeoCash Cards. (Waaaaaaaay better incentive than food.)

A couple hours later wen ended up in bed, with a food plan for me. I'm not going to change what I eat for dinner, no! Breakfast will be more of; yogurt (which I kinda eat on and off anyways), or scrambled eggs (usually with cheese and fresh spinach), or the occasional bowl of cereal. Mid-day snack (lunch) will be fruit more or less, or veggies, maybe some crackers. Dinner will be whatever the hell I make/he brings home. mac&cheese&bacon, breaded chicken over white rice, sweet & sour chicken, Taco Bell, whatever. I'm going to cut my soda intake waaaay down. (I love me some Coke.) I drink 1 maybe 2 cans a day, 1-4 cans on Sunday (Hubby's day off), and 1-6 cans on Tuesday (our D&D gaming day). The goal is 0 cans on the days he works, except if we have pizza for dinner cause pizza & coke is a given, duh! 1 can on Sunday and 1-2 cans on Tuesday. 

It's do-able.

Cutting waaay back on soda sugar yumminess should help a lot and I LOVE eating fruit and veggies.

I'll be starting the belly dancing (at home via YouTube) Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

I feel good about it. I'm ready.

I'm starting this blog to keep track of my own progress. If people want to comment or read then I welcome the company. 

A little about me:

I curse, I play Dungeons & Dragons, Magic the Gathering, Final Fantasy XI, love being nude, reading, sewing Renaissance/Fantasy costumes, painting, & baking. I love my Husband, he's my best friend & soul mate. We have 4 kitties. Few close friends. I am a very private-home person. I love my family and always wish them the best. I am tactlessly-honest with those I love. Very open about myself (only when asked!), and usually a good listener.

If you don't think you can live with this in a blog reading then, please, find another blog to stalk.

This blog is about me & my personal Flight of Dragons. This Elf needs to be healthy again.


After turning out the lights I knew there was something else bothering Hubby, and I asked him about it. He squirmed, and said he didn't know how to say it, he didn't want me hurt or upset or anything else he couldn't think of. I told him to tell me anyways, that I wouldn't get upset, if there was something that needed to be said, he needs to say it.

"When we were having sex the other night...I felt your belly on mine...and it kinda turned me off."

He waited for an explosion.



"I love you more for telling me that."


"Yeah. You got to be able to be honest with me. I need to know, don't ever be worried about upsetting me, just let me know."

Yup this Elf needs to tone up. I knew it. I love him so much more after last night. It was the first good night's sleep I've had in a week. I can't wait for Monday.