Reality Bites

When I dream, it's vivid, lifelike, and most of the time I could swear my dreams are actual memories.

Maybe when we dream our spirits travel elsewhere; and they are memories.

The people in my dreams have voices, defined bodies, and faces. They are not just some impression. The world around me is real. The smells and sounds and physical touch washes over my senses.

Then I wake up to the world and reality sets in.

It's not always bad, but today bites. I'm actually fine, physically, on antibiotics for my broken tooth, to help the infection go away. Today Hubby is having a horrid day, and there's absolutely nothing I can do to help him through it right now.

His job is understaffed, over crowded due to the new movies out, and he's working himself to the bone. He just called less than five minutes ago, and immediately he voice held the unspoken "I have to say something, but it's bad, and I don't know how to say it." He was open enough about the day being sucky at work, but there was something else.

"I don't know how we're going to pay rent tomorrow. I had to get a new battery for the car, and now I don't know if there's enough in our account...we might have to cash in your Bonds."

His voice was laden with sorrow and regret. I've talked about cashing them in before, years ago, when we were going through a hard time, and selling my jewelry, if need be. Always he's fought it tooth and nail. Determined that it would never come to that.

My heart swelled with love and compassion. My poor love, my poor poor sweetheart. I calmly reassured him that is wasn't a big deal, really it's not. Whatever it takes, we can even use whatever is leftover to help us move. He seemed a little soothed at my reassurances, but I know it's bothering him. My Bonds aren't much, hardly a trifling, given to me by my Godfather when I was a baby, and doing nothing for 3 decades. If they are enough to help us pay rent, then so be it.

Reality does bite though.

~

On a lighter note I do have another sculpture to share with all of you.

 

This is the Peacock Dragon Amalliah.

The first challenge given to my by Hubby. He wanted me to do a feathered Dragon and this is the result of me trying to impress him. She is made of Sculpey with an aluminum foil skeleton and aluminum foil base for the wings and tail. She's holding a stone from my hot stone massage thingie, that I don't use, because dark stones heat up to much for Hubby's and my skin.

She will be painted after the move with acrylic paints and then given a glossy finish.

~

Breakfast today & Lunch is the remaining half of a roast beef sub from Tuesday. I'm picking at it on and off. As well as a piece of red velvet cake from my best friend's birthday cake. I admit I had a Coke for breakfast too.

Dinner will be pasta, with sauce, and maybe garlic bread. (If I remember to heat up the oven.)

Updates...

I've been asked a few times this week about how things are going. Which made me realize that I haven't really updated anyone about things that have happened. Bad me, bad.

• I've lost a total of 10 pounds since January. It's freaking crazy. I don't see a difference or feel a difference. My cloths aren't looser or anything. I feel awful that I haven't worked out for...going on week 3 now. There's just no room. Hubby and I are trying to get everything moved downstairs that we can.

• Squee seems to have pooped. He's in a LOT less stress, he's happy, and there's Squee size turds in the litter box. We're still keeping him (and Ebony) on wet food every couple days.

•  Hubby's recovering from the stupidly huge "Summer Blockbuster" movie, thankfully there's no more huge movies coming out. Now all he has to do is deal with the normal idiocy.

• I went to the dentist today to get examined and put on antibiotics, gonna get my tooth pulled next Tuesday. They were going to do it today, but I wasn't ready, and I explained that I have anxiety issues. Thankfully they were understanding

Is that everything? I honestly don't know. If anyone is wondering about stuff (yes I see you peoples reading this  ^-^) just shoot me a comment.

We did play D&D yesterday. It was great! LOVED it. While playing to distract me from the pain in my mouth I worked on another Dragon. Crazy creature being made right now. It's about 1/3rd done, so no photo shoot for him yet.

I really hope that I'll be able to play next week after getting my tooth yanked. Probably not, but I'm set to try.

I do have LOTS more packing left. Considering I haven't done much for the past 4 days, I guess it's time to pick up where I left off.

Here's a couple of pictures of a Dragon that was made 2 weeks ago, while just fooling around one evening waiting for Hubby to come home.

He has no name or anything like that, but he is cute! I'll eventually paint him, probably after the move, right now he's sitting next to a much more lavish, bigger Dragon that I'll share next week. He's made with Sculpey and has an aluminum foil skeleton. Very lightweight but sturdy. No clue what I'm going to do with him. Maybe if I actually develop some skill I'll be able to sell these guys. Who knows.

~

Breakfast was a Whopper Jr., some fries, and fruit punch. I did have a Ginger Ale after waking up from a nap earlier.

Lunch will be half of a roast beef & pickle sub that Hubby got me yesterday but I was too sore to eat. Nothing except a huge cup of water, I just wasn't hungry enough to eat anything.

Dinner will probably be hamburgers and maybe a couple of chips on top. Hamburger Helper Tomato Basil Penne and a well sliced up apple for me to munch while cooking and a spoonful of caramel-butterscotch for the apples, just cause.

Gotta drink water, gotta drink water, gotta drink water.

Memorial Day

Today's not a day to hear me bellyache or complain or babble about anything.

Today is a day of remembrance.

To all those that served and are currently serving our country, thank you.

Freedom isn't free, even a flower-hugging, peace loving, semi-hippie like me knows that.

Thank you.

Some thoughts...

It's been 2 weeks now and I haven't worked out.

I have a few thoughts on the subject.

First of all, I can honestly say that I miss it. I feel like something is missing from my day. I enjoy being lazy, I do, but the missing part of the day leaves me wanting. I am seriously going to try and clear out space to start working out again next week.

I have been falling back into the Coke routine. A can in the morning. Only for the past week though. Some craving is driving that decision. Looking around at my empty can graveyard that compiled this week makes me sad. Thankfully it's only been 1 can of Coke all day. But it's still too much, in my brain. Coke is for Hubby's days off and the occasional pizza night.

There's a "new" Yoga bastardized routine that I'm going to try. (And probably die trying.) New as in new to me. It's a Jillian Michales workout. I'm totally not into that lady. I personally just don't feel a good vibe from watching her on T.V. Not that she as bad woman, I don't know her personally, but she's not someone I'd want to have coaching me. Several blogs I stalk have mentioned her Yoga workout and love it.

I went over to youtube and watched it.

Freaking killer.

I also kinda liked it.

Liked it enough to bookmark it and plan on trying it out. Though I'm sure about a quarter of the way through I'll end up passed out in a pool of my own sweat. Also Jillian seems a little less intense than she is with all the other stuff I've seen her in. Just a smig.

So yeah.

Here's some pictures, a bit fuzzy, of Suri. She's one of my Dragons. All sculpted and baked. There's some fine detail work to do with her and she needs to be painted, of course. She was made weeks ago.

~

Breakfast was, embarrassingly, a can of Coke, 8 Tostitos corn chips and some creamy spinach dip.

Lunch will be a can of French cut green beans and water.

Dinner will be pasta & tomato sauce, with water. Unless Hubby picks up something else.

Last Sunday

Okay, today I'm much calmer and centered. Let's talk about this past Sunday. Well I'll talk you read. =P

Hubby had the day off, as usual (yay!) he slept in till 6. Well we both did, but after we woke up we were playing video games. He had picked up Chinese food for us. Typical lounging Sunday. Then one of us (probably me) suggested we go watch Star Trek: Into Darkness. I knew he wanted to see it and I wanted to see it. A couple of phone calls later and he got the time for the last show. I was starting to panic.

Stupid, stupid panic.

There was a huge note to make though.

It was nothing compared how I normally felt.

The meds really made a difference.

Even the car ride was easier to handle.

Still panicy but totally not as bad. Hubby even mentioned it.

HUGE DIFFERENCE.

He even drove me around the apartment complex after the movie to show me what they added. I could never have handled that before.

Yay!

Then, later that evening Hubby decided that we'd have 6 weeks left to pack. We'd stay through the end of next month. Which is amazing. More time to pack, less stress, and being able to move after the huge summer "blockbuster" movies are done.

Double yay!

Well that was Sunday. Monday I already wrote about, and Tuesday (yesterday) we didn't play D&D cause one of our players wasn't feeling well and her car had broke. So we lounged. It was nice. A very quiet day, we both wanted to play D&D pretty badly but made the best of it. I was a lovely day.

 I did have 3.5 cans of soda yesterday. 2 Coke and 1.5 Ginger Ale. Bad of me, I know.

~

Breakfast today is leftover sweet & sour chicken with white rice...and...a can of Coke.

Lunch is probably going to be the remainder white rice I didn't finish in my bowl. With water.

Dinner is going to be Mack & Cheese & Bacon. I am going to have water then too. 

I don't know what's with the Coke craving this past week, probably cause my period is going to start. I'm also still craving green beans. Gonna make Hubby pick up a few cans of those, like 10, when he runs to the store this week. A can of green beans for lunch is totally filling.

I didn't sleep at all last night, probably won't pack, and if I do it won't be much, today. I foresee some Dragon making going on later. So sleepy. Here's to hopes of a nap!

Broken

I thought to write today solely about what happened yesterday, but the Gods of Fate apparently have other ideas. So let's start with today. Less than 20 minutes ago actually.

I sent Hubby off to work, took up a dry bowl of cereal and the leftover smoothie from yesterday, upstairs, reset my internet connection, (Thanks huge thunderstorm.) and sat down to munch on my cereal.

I munched, happily, and then I crunched. Odd, shredded wheat dosen't usually crunch like that. But whatever I swallowed the crunchy part without chewing it up.

And then I felt it.

Something was wrong.

Oh dear Gods.

I swallowed it! Oh holy shit!

Carefully I swallowed the remainder of shredded wheat down then probed with my tongue. Yup, jagged edges and huge gap.

Oh holy shit!

Why the fuck does this have to happen now?!?!

My tooth, the one that had a crack in it, totally broke off.

What's worse is that it's a front-ish tooth. You know, one of those that show when you smile.

I don't even know how to tell Hubby.

I don't even.

That's the last thing we can afford to do. The absolute last thing.

Thankfully it dosen't hurt. It feels weird but not hurting. Okay I lied, it's a bit sore. I'm probing it gently with my tongue. No blaring pain yet.

I'll talk about yesterday, on another day.

Right now I'm a little shaken, and teetering between being pissed and crying.

~

Breakfast was a bowl of dry Strawberry Frosted Mini Wheats and leftover pina colotta smoothie.

Lunch is going to be something soft. Maybe Ramen. Or leftover Chinese food depending on how I feel

Dinner is probably going to be Mac & Cheese & Bacon. Soft food.

Poopin' & Packin'

I wish I had some new exciting news or at least an interesting rant.

Truth is, I don't.

I'm still packing. I broke into our last sanctuary and started packing up my books. Today I'm going into the closet (which is a storage area and costume closet no normal cloths in there) to see what boxes I have for our more delicate breakables. We usually keep them around. I'm also going to pull out our luggage and start packing our hard back books up. You know, the ones that weigh a milliondy pounds when put in boxes? Yeah, those. Our luggage has wheels, so, tada! Wheelin' for less luggin'. Or back breaking, I hope.

Squee still hasn't seemed to have pooped. He seems in less distress, but he's going in and out of the litter box a gazillion times a day with no success. I am so close to force feeding him a stool softener pill. Hubby and I are going to Pet Smart to see if they sell anything that might help him out.

Squee is currently lying on my lap, freshly brushed, and purring.

He refuses to eat the veggie oil soaked food. Annoying.

I feel kinda sick today, pretty sure it's cause my period will start soon. Yuck.

Breakfast was half a bowl of Strawberry Frosted Mini-Wheats, no milk, a can of Ginger Ale (for my upset tummy) and a couple of Pringle chips, cause I was craving something salty.

Lunch will be the other half of the bowl of cereal and an apple with water.

Dinner will probably be some pasta and sauce.