Monday, February 25, 2013

Sometimes it's hard... keep a positive outlook on life. On yourself. To believe in yourself.

It's hard today.

For no exceptional reason other than my period started. Sometimes it's bearable, sometimes the pain's excruciating, sometimes my emotions are fine, sometimes I cry, sometimes the littlest thing pisses me off, sometimes I'm just sad.

I took a good long look at myself in front of the mirror and saw a round, round body. Nothing from the past five weeks showed. Nothing was there to warn me of the sudden sadness and depression that set in. I wanted to cover myself up and be ashamed. I felt ashamed, I still feel ashamed. I REALLY shouldn't look at myself during my period. Hopefully what I'm seeing is bloating.

Breakfast was a cherry yogurt. I was hungry a couple hours later, no...not really hungry, snack-y. So I polished off the crumbs of some BBQ potato chips and a Tahoe cookie.

Belly dancing was harder today. The pain from my period is just barely tolerable even with the medicine. I stopped 4 maybe 5 times to catch my breath and give my poor feet a rest. I'm sure it dosen't help that I banged my ankle yesterday, it's sore and bruised. Got through the workout though.

Lovin' the shower right after still.

Ate lunch at about 11pm. Some leftover Denny's from Saturday night. Half a Belgian waffle, half the scrambled eggs, and 2 sausage links. I gotta say the food was dismal & tasted off Saturday night. Reheated today it wasn't much better. Not like it was spoiled, but whoever made the eggs didn't clean the stove off before cooking it and whoever made the sad excuse for a Belgian waffle should be fired.

We're making chop suey tonight. Beef tips, onion, garlic, celery, bean sprouts, pepper, soy sauce all cooked together in the wok, yes please!

Wednesday's gonna be rough. I can't wait or Hubby to get home from work. I need to be hugged.

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